A Dad's Dream Come True - Part 1 : The Grade School Dance

A couple of weeks ago, my daughters had their first school dance of the year.  This is a big event where they hire a DJ to play every song grade school kids love at very high volumes.  To tweak the ambiance of the soccer field (where the dance is held) they also flash a couple of colored lights for "ambiance."  This event is not the highlight of Dad's year.  I basically stand off on the side and hold things for the kid and wife (last year this included two purses!) and then hand out money left and right to buy little trinkets that either incorporate glow sticks or little tiny flashing lights in some way.  Of course, this is much better than the alternative. The alternative in this case is dancing with the kids.  Did I mention that this event is not the highlight of Dad's year?

That's when my creative genius kicked in (being a creative genius is one of my many hobbies) and I devised another alternative...an alternate alternative.  That alternative was that I would stay home, while my wife (who enjoys dancing and otherwise acting childish) goes with my little angels and I stay home and work on something more serious and manly.  I was thinking of something that involved Mario and Nintendo in some way.

Unfortunately, my wife seemed to be sharing in my creative genius hobby because a few days before the dance she mysteriously started feeling "bad" in some general, non-specific way.  How could I combat this?  By the day of the dance, she was exhausted all the time, had a runny nose, and was generally grumpy.   

I wasn't buying it.

I knew creative genius in action when I saw it and this was creative genius.  Now, I wasn't doubting that she was sick...that would be far too easy to see through.  I was certain she was sick.  I was certain she made herself sick.   I had no trouble envisioning her spending the week before the week of the dance (viruses take a little bit of time to take hold of you, ya' know!) volunteering at an infectious disease clinic, dousing herself with water and standing in the open refrigerator door until catching a chill (I know, just being cold isn't supposed to make you sick, but creative genius leaves no stone unturned!), or diving in trashcans and collecting used tissues.   

Now, in case you think diving in trashcans is going too far, we were once at the ballgame in my company's suite and she was diving the trashcans looking for tab-tops for my daughter's tab-top collection effort for Ronald McDonald house.  I could just imagine the people at work the next day saying, "So, how's the little dumpster-diver?"  Fortunately, they too absorbed in either the game or the free nacho buffet to notice.

The point is, getting back to the story, I was going to be taking the kidlets, my little angels, to the school dance ALL BY MYSELF.  This was not an alternative I had thought of!

The dance was only two hours.  I could do this.  My wife, who was now deathly ill, had spent about 30 minutes doing their hair.  Naturally, the little one's hair had to closely resemble the older one's hair.  I had them get in the car and drove to my doom...er...their school.  It was then that I realized that my dog need food.  This was serious, my little brown dog cannot be without food!  People go to jail for less!  I told my daughters I would drop them off and be right back.  By the time I returned from the pet store, only 90 minutes of the dance remained.  I could do this.

Since it was now STORMING outside, the dance had been wisely moved inside the gym.  The lights were out and the goofy DJ lights actually looked pretty good in there, reflecting off the floor.  At least photo opportunities seemed to be about!  I looked around and noticed clusters of parents grouped around the exits and down hallways...about as far from the action as they could be and still be considered "at the dance."  I was not like that.  I was here for my girls.  I looked around.  I had no idea whatsoever where my girls were!  I also had no idea that the music the grade school kids loved was the Village People and other disco songs.  I thought disco was dead! 

I started taking pictures and due to the fact that I was the only parent in the back of the gym taking pictures, my kids found me in rapid order.  I took about 80 pictures with my little digital point and shoot camera, and actually had fun playing with slow shutter speeds and stuff.  I even took some freaky pictures of my daughters sitting on the floor which made them look like they were floating.  This was cool.   I was going for the effect of them being in focus and everyone being a blur around them, but never quite pulled it off.  I did like some of the resulting out of focus pictures and pictures of the goofy DJ lights.

All in all, it wasn't a bad night. 

Comments

[Amanda Cook]

my favorite part of this one is the process by which D makes herself sick......you have a gift for humor at times, G..... thanks for the chuckles (cool pic of floating child, too!) :)

[Deb]

Gregg, I loved this story! Knowing and loving your family, I could picture the entire evening and even moments in the preceding days. You not only showed your creative genius in your problem solving, but in your photography and your writing as well. Nice work!

[Mel]

I KNOW this is a true story because I've seen your wife in all her dumpster diving glory. LOL! Thanks for the laughs. You have a gift.