"Form" Madness

Good grief! Does anybody really read all these forms I fill out? This situation gets infinitely worse at the beginning of the school year. You have to fill out SO many forms, that my eyes are getting blurry. 

My theory is that NO ONE reads these forms.  I just know that once turned in, the forms go in a pile marked "OTHERS" - as in "throw it with the others" and nothing else happens with them.  I've actually tested this theory at work, where paperwork is just ridiculous, by filling in random things in all of those blanks. No one has ever called me on it and I started doing this some ten years ago.

It all started with a certain request form at work where we were quite convinced that no one actually read the thing - yet we HAD to have it. So we added "must play the song Camptown Races" to each form.  We never got pinged on that one and eventually pointed it out, because we were tired of it not being noticed and wanted recognition for our cleverness.

School medical forms are the worst, how many times do I have to send the same information to the same place?  Also, why do I have to do the same thing for sports?  Doesn't the school still have the information?  Well, it's probably lost in the "OTHERS" pile.

So next time, for fun, I'm filling in: "Rachel's eyes were replaced with close genetic equivalents from pigs, so don't let her see any mud! I can't be responsible for what happens if she does."

Perhaps under the school shot forms, I'll start filling in shots like "distemper, rabies, feline leukemia, etc."  OR, maybe just replace their entire shot record with the shot record of one of our pets.

Maybe on the Girl Scout health forms for brownies or daisy's I should have listed "allergic to crafts and paste."

I wouldn't doubt it if we even had to fill in similar forms for Rebecca taking violin lessons at school.  Perhaps I should have inserted, "moving her arms to the left sends her into convulsions" and see how they worked around that little problem with the whole bow thing and all.

I have also never understood all the electronic customer service phone systems where you start out by entering your phone number, address, account number or similar information. Without fail, by the time you reach a real live person, they ask for the SAME EXACT INFORMATION!  Why did I enter that in the first place? From now on, I'm initially entering the address and phone number of the White House, and we'll see if I get some better service.

Of course, all of this assumes that someone, some where is actually reading the information you supply.  I don't think they are.

If they were, perhaps on my employment application, I should have listed "can only work in large, quiet offices with a view."  Maybe then I wouldn't have been stuck with "cramped, constantly interrupted and extremely noisy with a view."  At least I got the view part!

Life is good.

Comments

[a.eye]

I absolutely hate filling in the forms for costumer service. Even on the phone they ask you what you are calling for and then when you talk to a person they completely start over --AGHH!

The school forms -- teachers have a ton of those forms we must fill in as well. And I'm sure none of them get read either.

I really like the idea of filling in clever information on them. I think I will start doing that, too.

Next year, you will have to let us know what/if they say anything about your daughter's eyes.

[Kathy G]

Why do you have to keep filling out the same information on school forms? Because NO ONE READS THEM. Unless there's a problem. Then you'd probably be in trouble if a child has to be sent to the ER (I've had it happen!) and they read that she's up to date on her rabies and distemper shots.

[Gregg's Dad]

Your Uncle Ron filled a credit card applcation for his Mother-in-Law some years ago; the only problem was that she has passed away a year or so before that. Ron got tired of all of the applications she still received so, well, you know Uncle Ron. I don't recall the details but he listed her address as Heaven and I believe her age as Deceased! I don't recall what else he did but I think the applications stopped coming.

[Gregg's Dad]

I have often thought of filling out an application or information sheet using "Yes" as the answer to questions such as, Birthdate, etc.

[Todd Jordan]

I'm so tired of forms as well, and honestly my experience is that there is always something unessential on just about any form. Heck, why does everyone and their brother need my birthday??

For what it's worth, I answer other for race.

[Sarah Kempf]

I received the girl scouts forms today to fill out for Marissa to be in Rachel's troop. After filling out the 3 pages for Marissa to be in Girl Scouts I looked at the 5 page volunteer registration and decided to pass on volunteering to help with the troop. Seriously, I don't even have a copy of her shot records. Can't they get a copy from the school?