If there is a single phrase that is heard more than any other in our house, most mornings, it is "Get DRESSED!" My youngest, Rachel, has some secret complicated scheme that she uses for working out her priorities each morning. I think there is a small flaw with her scheme, though. I think she left out of her "system", accidentally I'm sure, the part where she actually gets her clothes on.
The "funniest" part of the whole routine is that somewhere along the line she has picked up the Stephen Covey mantra of "First things first!"
The problem is that she uses the phrase to back up HER plan of getting ready...the plan that doesn't involve getting dressed. Example, we might find Rachel playing with paper dolls when she was supposed to be getting dressed.
Dad: Rachel, you need to put the toys away, and get dressed! It's almost time to go to school!
Rachel: (said in a tone that indicates I should know better) Daaaaadddd, I need to eat before I get dressed!
Dad: (somewhat exasperated) But, you went to the attic, moved things out of your way, got out the paper dolls, and brought them downstairs! Now you are playing with them instead of eating.
Rachel: I'm setting up the dolls so they can eat breakfast!
Dad: Rachel, YOU should be eating breakfast...actually, you should be getting dressed (her distraction tactic almost worked!)...put the dolls down NOW, and do something!
I then leave the room, naively believing she may actually do what I want this time and return to find her STILL playing with the dolls!
Dad: (more exasperated) RACHEL!
Rachel: (jumps) What?!
Dad: Why are you still playing with the dolls?
Rachel: Daaaaadddd, They need to get dressed before they can eat! First things first!
Dad: Why don't you get dressed before you eat?
Rachel: (condescendingly) Dad, dolls are NOT real life!
Apparently the getting dressed thing is not for real life. Now I understand. Notice her deftly including the "First things first" line. Still don't know where she got the phrase, but I'm pretty sure she is TOTALLY misapplying it!
This exact scenario repeats itself perhaps two dozen times for any given morning.
Eventually, she'll change some article of clothing, which to her counts as dressing.
Mom: Rachel, get your shoes and socks on, we've GOT to go! The carpool will be waiting! YOU WILL BE LATE!
Rachel: (sitting at the previously clean table now buried shoulder high in craft supplies newly retrieved from their proper storage location) But Moooommmmm, I nead to finish making this pop-up story book, complete with elaborate machines made entirely of paper that wiz and whir and turn the pages for you! I need to get it done NOW! FIRST THINGS FIRST, MOM!
Mom: First, don't call me "but Mom", second, you certainly do NOT need to make this book! We told you A MILLION TIMES THIS MORNING NOT TO GET ANYTHING OUT! Put it away and GET DRESSED! THIS IS NOT A FIRST THING!
Rachel: (totally ignoring the previous plea) BUT MOM! I am making this for Grandma (or her teacher, or a friend, or other "important" person).
Mom: Just get dressed and out that door NOW!
Rachel: WAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
She's smart, this one. She is backing up her desire to construct a huge Rube Goldberg like craft invention before school with an altruistic purpose: giving it as a gift!
Eventually, after Dianne and I are both so frazzled that we each look like we just got up and stuck our tongues into electrical sockets, the kid is dressed and out the door to go for school.
If you are in the business of looking for miracles, look no further than this.
I'm a longtime lurker and first time "post-er" to your blog because **you are living my life**! The only exception is that my first born child is in this same situation and is an 8 year old boy. Its a challenge every single DAY so I feel your pain. Unfortunately he's 1 of 3 and the younger siblings like to follow suit and take their sweet time. If you come up with a good solution I'm all ears :) For now, I'll continue bribery. Great blog btw, enjoy reading and seeing your pics.
Posted by: Stacey | January 19, 2009 at 04:59 PM
Have you ever taken her to school only in her underwear like we had to two weeks ago? Did you read my nightmare post about that? This doesn't make me happy.....I had high hopes that this was just a stage and that it wouldn't last very long. Looks like I might be wrong.
Posted by: abunslife | January 19, 2009 at 08:46 PM
oh, yeah, i live this. except i have two of them. that's why i have so many i hate mornings tweets.
Posted by: LisaS | January 19, 2009 at 10:45 PM
Here is what I do with my nearly 4 year old girl.
Dad: Good morning, time to get up
Daughter: unngg I don't wanna, im still sweepy...
Dad: You need to get up now and go potty..
Daughter: unngg..lee me alone...
Dad: But the potty is hungry you gotta feed it!
Daugther: Huh?
Dad: Come on let's get out of bed please..
Daughter: Unngg
Ok this is the part you have to pay attention to.
1. Pull off covers
2. Pick up child
3. Carry them to bathroom
4. Set them on toilet
5. Quickly do something goofy like plop down on the floor to distract them from the situation they were just ripped away from.
She will then usually be awake enough and amused by whatever antics just occurred to allow you to move away and continue getting yourself ready.
Dad: Make sure to flush and wash your hands after you potty.
Daughter: Okayyy
Usually by this point she will then go and get her clothes on without challenge. We lay the clothes out for both her and her disabled nearly 2 year old sister the night before. My wife likes to let her have some choice in what clothes she wears. So it goes something like this with her.
Wife: Do you want to wear this one?
Daughter: No
Wife: Do you want to wear this one?
Daughter: NO!
Wife: Do you want to wear this one?
Daughter: no
Now it's my turn.
Dad: She wants to wear this one, it's got (something awesome), and looks really (fun, cool, etc).
Daughter: ya ya that one
I'm all for giving kids a choice, and definitely starting with a choice. But don't fight with them, you're the parent and you don't have to beat them up to get them to listen. Just use a little control and force and counter it with love and humour. They will respect you more and think you are fun at the same time.
Of course to each their own, but as you were sharing your style with the world, I thought I would throw mine in.
Have a good day.
BTW, I live in St. Charles. Maybe we should have a playdate someday you can show me how to work a camera. :)
Posted by: Rob | January 20, 2009 at 06:45 AM