Gregg vs. the Squirrels

So, a few weeks ago I was putting up my Christmas lights.  Yes, I was a bit late this year. I had problems finding appropriate lights to replace the lights that I loved on my house, OK?  Also, I always want to start a post with the word "so" but I always edit it out. Today it stays. I MAKE THE RULES AROUND HERE!(deep breath)....(slightly less deep breath) .... I'm better now.

Anyway, while I was putting up my lights I noticed a couple of holes in my fascia and gutters...leading into my attic. There has always been a bit of space between the roof and the fascia, and periodically birds have made nests in this area at the edge of my attic and just under the roof.  Besides the occasional piece of insulation the birds pulled out of the attic and threw in the driveway...plus those two times I was aerial bombed from the birds while I got into my car (yes, direct hits)...it wasn't a big problem.

The current situation was, to put it delicately, just a bit different.  Those gaps in the fascia had been expanded to the point where they looked like those cartoon mouse holes in cartoons (where else would you find cartoon mouse holes?).  All that was missing was the little doors.  I half expected Jerry (from "Tom and Jerry") to pop out at any time. This could only mean one thing:

SQUIRRELS.

Drat.  Squirrels are really nothing but overgrown mice with big bushy tails that live well above the ground.  I knew that, like mice, I didn't want to have them in my house.  Unfortunately, that's when I came face-to-face with the fact that squirrels at the very least VISITED the house.  Because, at that moment a squirrel stuck it's little rodent head out of the hole in the fascia.

I honestly have no idea how I ended up staying on the ladder.  I yelled and I'm pretty sure even the squirrel yelled, though I guess it could have been my yell bouncing off the house.  However, the squirrel did look as startled as I must have looked. Apparently he didn't expect some goofy guy to be up at HIS front door loaded down with super-bright blue LED lights!

Well, live and let live, right? Besides, it is the Christmas season, right? 

However; now, weeks later, we are starting to hear chewing or scraping sounds in the attic in the morning. This is not good. The squirrels must go! So yesterday, I ran out to my friendly neighborhood hardware store and got some 1/4" metal mesh to cover the holes.  After cutting out some pieces of the mesh to cover the two invading squirrel front doors, I climbed up the ladder again and nailed some of the mesh over the first hole.  Then I moved to the second hole, but hark! I heard some movement from the inside.  I used the word "hark!" because until Tuesday, it is still the Christmas season, of course.  Of course, I don't have to explain myself to you here, because I MAKE THE RULES AROUND HERE! I may decide to use the word "hark!" in July, if I feel like it.  Deal with it.

I have no idea how I ended up staying on the ladder. Again! While I didn't yell this time, I slid down the ladder as fast as I could without being Spider-man and had my wife go into the attic, and make a bunch of noise to scare the little rodent out. So she went up to the attic (it's a full walk-in attic) and yelled, "AAAaaiiiiiiii!!!!"  I really don't know why she yelled like a Japanese comic-strip character, but she did, and a squirrel shot out of the hole I was trying to cover like a rocket.

Success! Score one for the home team!

I re-climbed the ladder and began to nail the metal mesh in place.

It was then that I heard more rustling from the attic.  RATS! Another squirrel!

I called for my wife to repeat her incredible Japanese comic-strip performance, which she did, except the squirrel wasn't near the particular piece of mesh I was about to nail in place. No. It was at the OTHER opening. The opening I had already sealed with the mesh.

Rats!  Well, not literally rats, that's a different rodent. Squirrels!

Score one for the Squirrel team.

That poor creature tried like mad to break through the mesh, but couldn't. We tried to direct it to the still open hole further down, but I don't think it ever made it.  I decided I had to continue covering the second hole before squirrel number one returned. So I finished installing the second piece of mesh.

I decided that I would have to try to let the second squirrel out, so I went down and UNDID my original work. I hate that! However, we couldn't find the squirrel to get it out that hole. I hope we didn't give the poor guy a heart attack or something.

In fact, I REALLY don't hope the squirrel had a heart attack in one of my walls, or something. Because that would stink. Literally.

I'm going to try to scare the little invading furball out again this morning. If I don't have any luck, I'm resealing the second hole and looking for a live-trap to get any remaining squirrels out.  If you know of a St. Louis source for live-traps, let me know with all haste!

For those keeping score:

Gregg: 1, Squirrels: 1.

I'll keep you updated.

Comments

[Kimberly Wadycki]

The Humane Society "rents" live traps. I've had to borrow them myself.

[zookeeper]

I hope the squirrels will vacate very soon. While they may be cute, they are not welcome visitors.

And, by the way, I think you can use "hark" any time of the year. But that's just me.

[Kim]

I recommend Critter Control. They helped me last year during a minor (okay, full-on major) panic attack I had with a mysterious banging in my walls. Turns out it was a bird, but the sweet guy hung out and checked every possibility, in the middle of an ice/sleet/snow storm.

http://jumpwithfaith.blogspot.com/2008/02/my-hysteria-let-me-show-it-to-you.html

[abunslife]

Ack! Those wascilily wabbits! Doh! I mean squirrels! Good luck......

[KC (My World's a Stage)]

Squirrels! I wish that was the problem we are having. I think we may have a mouse. At least I hope it's a mouse and not a rat. That'll teach me ... I'm no longer going to pick up sofa's sitting on the curb with signs that say "free". ;-)

[Gregg]

When we moved into our house, I'm pretty sure there were mice in the basement, though we didn't see many signs.

However, we moved in with a killer cat (she STILL catches birds at 18!) and the mice went away.

I'm tempted to turn her loose in the attic, but I think squirrels could mess her up at her age.

[Bri]

I hate squirrels. That is all.

[Mom]

We used Critter Control when ground squirrels (chipmunks) burrowed under the slab under our laundry room and half bath, came up the wall by the water pipes and chewed a hole through the wall.

[Mom]

I just remembered. Christmas Day, Emily went up in your attic. Dianne later saw the door open and light on and thought one of your girls had left it on, turned the light out and shut the door. Emily would have really been traumatized if a squirrel had come by her! It was bad enough being in the dark!

[billstl]

Traps, nothing. A high-powered BB gun will take those nasty things out. I've nailed several around my house.

[Larry Jost]

I have a nice live trap, wold work perfectly for those bushy tailed rats you have. Want to borrow it...call my cell, I may be able to get it to church tomorrow night at practice... Another option would be to borrow someone's dog..that could be very interesting.

[Kathy G]

The trees in our neighborhood were too small to support a squirrel population until a couple of years ago. The first time I saw a squirrel in the yard I was actually excited; the excitement didn't last long.

I got a nice bird feeder for Christmas, along with a deck hook so I could see it from the kitchen window. However, the setup is perfect for squirrels. All they have to do is sit on the deck rail and nosh away!

[Bill Orrick]

Ouch. Brings back 'not so good' memories. I had those openings in our first house, and saw the squirrels going in and out and did exactly what you are doing. Though, some of the squirrels were pretty dumb and never exited, and I found full body furs in the attic, about 4 of them. Glad they weren't fresh, I could imagine the smell.