Top Ten Ways to Avoid Getting the Flu From Your Daughter

For the past four days, my oldest daughter Rebecca has been fighting the flu. I think it goes without saying that for the most part, we do not want to get the flu.  I say "for the most part", because I'd be lying if I didn't admit that at least once I was tempted to roll in a pile of use Kleenex as a way to get out of going to work!

So,making the assumption you don't actually want to do this, then here are some suggestions on how to avoid getting the flu from your daughter:

1. Sequester her in her room. Deliver food and drink by carefully pushing them to her from a great distance with a high quality stick.
2. Every twenty minutes, Lysol bomb the house.
3. Accept those "extra" assignments at work. As far as the family is concerned, they MUST be done "at" work.  It's everyone for themselves in these situations.
4. Rent an unused spacesuit from NASA.  Put daughter in suit.
5. If your daughter puts up too much of a fight for #4, rent enough suits for the REST of your family.  A procedural tip: make sure you understand how the astronauts handle "using the facilities" while in the suit.  This may make you want to look for another idea.
6. Rent the "Giant Inflatable Castle."  Install in your yard, move rest of family inside until the flu passes.  Remember, much like "the bubble boy", these have a positive air pressure that SHOULD keep the germs OUT.
7. Your daughter has a cell phone, right?  For the duration of the flu, all conversation will be conducted via texting or, gasp, an actual phone call.
8. Encase her assigned portion of the house in the full hazmat setup - like in E.T.
9. Live in your shower like Kramer did on Seinfeld. Dominoes delivers.
10. Tell the authorities you suspect your daughter has "Yellow Fever." They'll take care of the rest.

Comments

[Kathy G]

Actually, Number 7 could work! I'd just have to learn how to text :-)

[LisaS]

for your sake, I hope space suits are not like wet suits.