One Dad's Life

Wordless Wednesday - Wino

A basket full of wine corks on our kitchen counter.  Many vineyards now use the artificial "corks" which aren't as cool, but at least some of them are now printing on them as well.

Taken with a Nikon D60, 18-55mm, f3.5 - 5.6 kit lens.  ISO 100.  6 seconds at f8.  Yeah, I used a tripod.  No flash, lit by a small night light. Click on picture for a larger version.

10 Ways I tried to Get to Sleep Last Night - and FAILED!

For whatever reason, once again I could not get to sleep last night.  So here are the things I tried to do to get drowsy.  Counting sheep is for amateurs.

1. Played Animal Crossing: City Folk. Fished in Animal Crossing: City Folk.  This usually works.  Fishing is SLOW, plus they play this soothing music.  Last night - fail.
2. Ripped some CDs in iTunes for the family iPods.  Watched the iTunes progress meter. Ripping CDs is slow, and boring.  Last night - fail.
3. Watched some TV. TV shows bore me. They make me go to sleep.  Last night, I watched 30 Rock, The Office, and Clean House.  I didn't go to sleep.  Fail.
4. Had a staring contest with my oldest cat, Tiffany.  She's really good at staring contests.  In fact, I think she has worked out a way to actually go to sleep with her eyes wide open. Non-blinking.  It's freaky.  I lost.
5. Watched guitar equipment reviews on YouTube.  LOTs of reviews.  Refer to that whole TV watching thing.  It didn't work.  I DID however generate a pretty big "wish list" of guitar stuff I now simply MUST have.  Total cost?  Approximately $225,000.00.   Yikes. That will wake you up.
6. Spent 10 minutes wishing that it was as easy to make money in real life as it is on Animal Crossing: City Folk.
7. Browsed the Hennesy Performance Engineering website, checking out their Camaros.  They are making 700 and 1000 H.P. versions this year. Yikes.  WAY WAY WAY out of my price range, and just nearly unreasonable power for a muscle car.  Clearly, the HPE550 Camaro is the most reasonable version.  I want.  Of course, if you read this blog regularly, you know that I would be TOTALLY happy with the base stock model, as long as it is has a manual transmission. While this could clearly count as "dreaming", I found that I was still not asleep.
8. Spent an additional 20 minutes wishing that it was as easy to make money in real life as it is on Animal Crossing: City Folk.
9. Tried to figure out what the opposite of "beige" is. Failed.  Also, did not go to sleep.
10. Drank an entire 12 pack of Dr. Pepper.  Really didn't work, butnowIhavesomuchtosayandIcan'tseemtogetallthewordsoutfastenough!

Maybe I should go back to counting sheep.  Oh, and by the way, I was kidding about the case of Dr. Pepper.  Everyone knows that after 6 or so, it can actually wake you up, a bit.

Wordless Wednesday - Change of Seasons

I really like taking pictures of patterns and textures, in particular as they occur in nature, though I've been known to take pictures of carpeting, because I might be able to "use that pattern somewhere."

So naturally, this little pile of leaves covered in snow and ice attracted my attention.

Click on the picture for a larger version.

And the Winner Is...

Boy does it feel good to win!  No matter how altruistic you are, you simply can't deny that rush of adrenaline that you get when you win a competition, contest, or even something good from the bottle cap on that soda!  I'm STILL disappointed that I didn't get one of those Dr. Pepper Camaros, though.

So, this past weekend, I won in a BIG way!

Our Christmas lights were up the longest in our neighborhood.  There was a close contest between us, and our next door neighbor, but they finally relented on Friday afternoon.  Ours came down on Saturday. It doesn't even really matter to me that they most likely were not aware of the contest.  I see that fact as being largely irrelevant.

Life is good.

In fact, some of my most exciting victories have come when the other contestants didn't even know they were contestants!   For example, my wife and I frequently find ourselves at the same location with two cars.  If we are going to the same next location, usually home, the race is on!  I don't think it really matters if she is informed about the race, or not.  If I have one of my daughters in the car, it can be even more exciting.  They can get worked into a fever pitch over the contest.  Well, at least my youngest daughter.  My oldest daughter now expresses her enthusiasm for my contests against people who aren't aware they are in competition with me with the following statement:

"That's nice, Dad." (returns to texting).

I hear that a lot, come to think about it. I don't let her apparent lack of enthusiasm dampen my spirits, though. I know she is doing back flips in her mind.  Contests that provide a similar thrill for me include the checkout line races.  This is where you try to determine which checkout line is the faster.  I can't play this game with my wife, though.  Despite her many talents, picking a line is not one of them. In fact, she is terrible at it.

It's still a big thrill when I make a mental note of who I would have been behind in all the other lines.  If I get through MY line first, I WIN!  Oh, the fun you can have.

Well, I've got to go. I'm in a heated contest with my daughter to see who can stay in their pajamas longer.  This is more challenging, as even if she is told to "get dressed" a hundred-billion times, she can still resist.

She's tough. Very tough.

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Epilogue: Before you get the idea that we are one of THOSE families that leaves their lights up until May, we are not! Our tradition is to take them down when our church celebrates Epiphany.  Generally, this falls AFTER the actual date of Epiphany (the 12th day of Christmas - when the Christian church celebrates the arrival of the magi - effectively the introduction of Jesus to the gentile world). However, this year, we celebrated this in church BEFORE the actual date of Epiphany.  Well, we couldn't take down decorations (inside or out) before that, so we agreed we'd take them down the next weekend.  We DID this on the interior decorations, but the outdoor ones were encased in ICE.  ICE.  Those little wires are brittle enough when they aren't frozen, so I waited until temps got above freezing.  I decided to keep the lights ON, during this time, which my oldest told me was "tacky."  Bleh to her.  She's doing back flips on the inside, I'm sure.

Unicorns!

Well, what a week it has been! It's been busy and all, because reality finally caught up with me and I had to return to that full-time job thing. Um, meh.

But in other news, for nearly the past week, I can now see unicorns! That has been so much better than that job thing.

Like I said. What a week it has been.  To get the details, you'll have to read this.  Did you read the comments?  Because, if you didn't, then you still won't understand. Read it now - WITH the comments. The truth is finally revealed in the comments.  Read it now.  I'll wait.

Pretty amazing, huh? Last week, I didn't even think that unicorns existed, but it turns out they do.

I couldn't wait to tell people. If you could finally see unicorns, you'd be telling people, too! So, I decided to tell my oldest daughter, first.  I figured she would be excited, being a girl and really liking things like princesses, magical lands, unicorns, and the color purple.  Her response, well, it was less than I expected. A LOT less.

"That's nice, Dad."

I told my wife.  She laughed. LAUGHED. I got the impression that she wasn't laughing with me in a joyous way or anything. SHE thought I was crazy.  Can you imagine?

In fact, everywhere I went I met similar reactions.  I was even told that I had an active imagination.

Now don't get me wrong, I KNOW what an active imagination is.  I was once told to imagine people naked when you were doing public speaking, so I did that once. No one I met had any clothes on for an entire WEEK!  I know. This sounds good, right?  Let me assure you that it is not. People NEVER look as good as you'd think. I'm still trying to erase the memory.  Even now, I have occasional relapse.  Fortunately, though, now it only goes down to seeing people in their underwear.  MUCH, better, though a few of you are making some real questionable choices. Just saying. In any case, this time it is REAL.

I even told people at work. I'm with them every day.  They KNOW I'm not nuts, I figured.

However, they were....um....skeptical.

So, now I'm working on plans to catch a unicorn.  This is difficult, as I believe they are actually magical creatures.   I'll need to either make a magical net, or maybe find some magical carrots to tame them with.  Of course, THEN what to do?

It somehow seems crass or something to actually RIDE a unicorn.  I mean, they are relatively small compared to most horses, and very graceful.  If you can imagine me perched on top of one, well, it just doesn't work. That's almost as awkward as that whole seeing people naked thing.

So, I thought of having a unicorn chariot built.  This was harder than you'd think.  Not that many chariots have been made since that movie Ben Hur.  So, after some searching (the Yellow Pages do not have a section on "chariots", btw), I finally came up with a company that is willing to build me a unicorn chariot.  They haven't actually built any chariots, yet, but they haven't had a lot of work since Wagon's East, so they are hungry for work!  In fact, they are so excited to get a quote together for me that they were positively GIGGLING.  In fact, almost everything I told them about the unicorns and what I wanted in a unicorn chariot made them giggle all the more.

It's so nice to be able to make people happy like that!  I can't wait to get my quote from them.

Once the chariot is in my possession and find a way to catch a couple of these beautiful creatures, I'll show all you doubters, I will.  Then you'll be sorry, YES YOU WILL.

NO CHARIOT RIDES FOR YOU!

Besides, I can see you in your underwear.  I wouldn't be laughing if I was you.

Semi-Wordless Wednesday - Going, Going, Gone.

I know that it is well after the Christmas season for most people, but we just got to the end of our indoor decorations yesterday. The outside decorations are still largely encased in ice and are staying right where they are until the thaw that is coming over the next couple of days.

When I realized the time was short for our decorations, I rushed around the house taking pictures.  I think our house pretty much looks like something you'd see in a magazine or movie during Christmas, thanks to my wife, and I wanted to capture that look for posterity.  Unfortunately, "rushed" is the key word and very few of the low-light pictures are acceptable for publication.  Here are a few I liked enough to share.

This Santa is one of perhaps two dozen in the house.  This particular one is on a vanity in our bedroom. That's right, even our bedroom is decorated like crazy! The gingerbread house in the background was made by my wife, daughters, and mom.  They make at least one every single year. Each is unique.  My wife, Dianne, designs the pattern and makes the walls, the kids decorate, my mom provides a workshop, helping hands, and many candies!  One year, they did a model of the Kirkwood train station.  We keep the gingerbread house all winter and then give it to the possums and raccoons in the yard.  Expect to see pictures of this later.

There nothing too special about this picture, other than this is what I was looking at as I ate dinner the other night.  I grabbed the camera and snapped the picture!  My dirty plate and wine glass was just in front of this.  The blue lights in the background are reflections of some of the outdoor lights in our china cabinet.  It's a real live poinsettia!

 

If there is anything we have more of than Santas, it is Nativity sets.  This is as it should be, since Christmas is ALL about the gift of God's son. Like the Santas, we don't even put them all up each year.  They are rotated from year to year.  This one, however, ALWAYS gets put up. It belonged to my grandparents and is a match to one my parents have...so it is like I grew up with it!  One of the wise men were broken at some point. I need to repair it, but I'm not exactly sure where it is, which upsets me.

I also didn't realize until last night how really poor this picture was, but I really wanted to post one of this Nativity set, and now it is taken down!  So, I did what I could with it, and here it is!  And yes, we have little lights and lighted garland EVERYWHERE in the house during Christmas.  It's a Christmas wonderland!

So, just a couple of pictures, but definitely representative of the beauty you'd find in our house at Christmas!

What's that Noise?!

Periodically, instead of staying up late to work (either for "work" or home stuff), I'll sit on my bed and play some Nintendo DS games, prior to going to sleep.  Well, this past week has been COLD in St. Louis, so I was much more inclined to crawl into my nice soft and WARM bed, than being up and about.

It was early in the evening, for me, at 10:30, so I figured I had a fair amount of gaming time in front of me.  I settled in to play a little bit of the "Professor Layton and the Diabolical Box" game that Dianne gave me for my birthday.

I was having a great time playing, and Dianne was in bed next to me reading a book.  Eventually, she decided to go to sleep and turned out her light.  I decided to continue playing for a while...in the dark...as I commonly do when she is ready to go to sleep.  Can I have a hooray for back-lit LCD screens?  HOORAY!

I was playing for a while, sitting with the blankets over my lap, propped up on some pillows when suddenly I heard a very loud sound.  It sounded like someone slammed the back door leading into our kitchen.

This was odd, as I knew everyone was in bed, and I knew the back door was closed.  Also, none of our critters even budged. My dog remained asleep in the living room, and our youngest cat, Mozart, was curled up next to me.  She didn't even lift her cute little head!  Our oldest cat is deaf and probably wouldn't have noticed anything, anyway.

I decided NOT to get out of the nice soft and WARM bed, and continued playing the game.

Suddenly, BOOM!!!, the sound came again.  This time, the wall behind me (plaster - and solid as a rock) shook.  Even the picture on the wall over the bed rattled a little.  OK, I was NOT imagining things.  What was going on?  The cat next to me lifted her head, looked around, and went back to sleep.

Again, I decided NOT to get out of the nice soft and WARM bed, and continued playing the game.

BOOM!

This time, I very nearly dropped my DS game, the shock was so great.  The cat again looked around.

I sat in the bed, very very still, hoping to hear a clue as to what was happening.  Something must be going on outside, I thought.  I didn't hear any voices, or other activity.  No dogs were barking in the neighborhood, either.  Strange.  VERY strange.

I went back to the game.  It is a fun game, if you like riddles and puzzles.  I recommend it! (Shameless Nintendo plug.  BTW, Nintendo, I'd be perfectly willing to host a Nintendo party in my home. Hint. Hint.  You're the greatest!  Even better than Boar's Head Horseradish sauce and that is saying something!)

Did I mention that I went back to the game?  Yes, I did. I went back to the game.

BOOM!

This time, the impact ended up knocking me back, and even off the side of my pillow a little bit! Holy COW!  What was going on?  Why did no one else hear this or wake up?  It was LOUD and the wall was even shaking, for goodness sake.

It was then that I realized what was happening.  I was actually briefly falling asleep, my head would fall back and SMASH into the wall behind me, which then woke me up.  OUCH. It happened so quickly, I didn't even realize I was falling asleep and getting woken up by the impact of my skull smashing into the rock hard plaster wall.

Good grief.

Sadly, this is not the only experience I've had with falling asleep playing video games.  It has also happened on my couch.  The neighbor's house was on fire that time.

I'm pretty sure I deserve that Nintendo Party.  I'll be waiting.

10 Ways to Occupy the Kids on a Snow Day

Well, if you live in the Midwest, and have school age children, it is likely that school is canceled. 

AWESOME!

Now what?  Rumor has it that with the wind that is coming, the wind chill will be dangerous outside, so you can't just lock them outside and pretend you can't hear them knocking.

I'm here to help.  Here is a list of 10 ways that you can occupy your kids for hours, while they are trapped in the house.

1. Dust the CDs.  In my house, this could take HOURS.  We have a lot of CDs.
2. Have them clean their room. I'm sure it needs it!
3. Challenge them to count the number of pictures of people playing "Guitar Hero" there are on Flickr.
4. Back rubs for Mom and Dad!
5. If you have more than one kid, have them try to hypnotize each other. If successful, tell them they are made of stone.
6. Have them paint the dogs toenails. Challenge version: paint the cat's claws.
7. Wii Sports Resort!
8. Have them guest write a post for your blog about how wonderful you are!
9. Have them pantomime all three "Lord of the Rings" movies...in the other room.
10. Have them put all of that toothpaste they leave in the sink BACK IN THE TUBE!

Wordless Wednesday - Bye, Bye, Santa!

Well, today is the official last day of Christmas, being Epiphany, so although ol' Saint Nick has turned into a secular character for most, I thought it would be appropriate to show him leaving town for the season!  By the way, in some cultures Christmas is celebrated today!

Taken at this year's "Gardenland Express" exhibit at the Missouri Botanical Garden.  My entire extended family goes to this every year, right after Christmas...usually the day after.

Here's the details: Nikon D60, Auto-mode, flash off.  (Camera selected f5.6, 1/30 s, ISO 500).  I tracked the motion of the train as I took the picture, which is how Santa is sharp and everything around him is progressively blurred. Click on the picture for a bigger view!

Oh, by the way, even though Christmas is over, I still reserve the right to post more about this Christmas.