One Dad's Life

"Clean House" Yard Sale

Last week, I reported to you that the TV show "Clean House" was in St. Louis, and in fact was redoing a house that is in our neighborhood....and we've been stalking the show.  It's funny how the new "normal" route to ANYWHERE takes us by this house!

Well, Saturday was the yard sale that goes along with the show, and naturally we were pretty pumped to go to the sale...though I was a bit worried about impulse buys of other people's junk.

The yard sale didn't start in the wee hours of the morning as do most yard sales. Instead, it was scheduled to start at 10:00 AM, which was cutting things close for me, since I had a St. Louis Blogger's Guild meeting at 11:00.  Still, you don't want to pass up an opportunity to be on TV, right?  So we went.

It was cold. REALLY cold.  Although the temperature was slightly above freezing, it was so windy that it was pretty uncomfortable.  The yard sale was moved to a Knights of Columbus hall near the house that was being redone, and crowds of people lined up outside.  Eventually, one of the producers or production assistants came out and said that they were a little behind, but that things would get going shortly. 

I started worrying about getting to my meeting.

Finally, to help keep the crowd enthused, they started talking to everyone in line. 

"How are you all doing?" they yelled.

"COLD!!!!!!" came back the unanimous...and loud...response.

Soon, Mark Brunetz and Trish Suhr, two of the hosts of the show came running outside to wind people up even more as can be seen in the above photo. Trish is behind Mark. She's small.

Niecy Nash, the hostess, came out and recorded a couple of bits for the show.  Soon we'd be going in! 

They informed us that due to the size of the building, only 75 people or so could be inside at a time.  A quick count of the crowd put us WELL into the second group of 75.  Bummer.  I knew I was going to miss going in, due to my meeting.  I started calculating that I had a 10 minute walk home, then a 10 minute drive to the meeting.

Things were getting tight!

However, once they started letting people in the building, many people came out disappointed. Apparently, one of the messiest homes in America didn't have a lot of good stuff they wanted to sell.

This was actually GOOD, from my perspective.  

I didn't want to be buying anything...though I brought cash for the kids and in the slim hope that there would be some old LPs or video games inside.  My dream find would be an old, underpriced guitar!

The line started moving pretty good, so I decided to be late for my meeting for this once in a blue moon chance to see a show I actually enjoyed being filmed and meet the hosts.  As you can see in the picture (above and left), I am texting Dana (sorry guys!) at the Blogger's Guild to say I'm going to be late as I'm stuck at the filming.  I'm all hi-tech and stuff!  Perhaps "stuck" was a strong word to use, but I could tell that this was my chance to see this show in action.

Once inside the building, I ran around trying to get pictures of the hosts, which was tricky due to crowds and VERY dim lighting...plus a "no flash" rule from the TV show people.

It was very interesting meeting the hosts and seeing them in action.  Niecy was just as over-the-top as you see on TV and her grandmother was even there (she has spent a portion of her life living in St. Louis).  There were many autograph seekers and lots of fans.  In fact, I had assumed everyone there had known about the TV show, but it seemed that at least half didn't know anything about it being there, or even had heard of the show.

The photo above is my favorite of Niecy, though it is still a bit blurry.  She had hugs for everyone!

Eventually, my family made their way over to Trish - the Yard Sale Diva.  Trish had some great stories about a monkey - a real monkey - that lives in the house they are redoing.  She's a great story-teller!  Luckily, they got some of the wacky interactions between Trish and the monkey on tape, and it should be hilarious on the show. Can't wait to see it.

My youngest daughter, Rachel, had found a couple of tennis rackets she wanted to get (she's been talking about playing tennis with my wife, Dianne, for much of the past 6 months) and she asked Trish about pricing and got a ticket written up for he (see the picture above).

All in all, even though the yard sale didn't have too much interesting stuff, it turned out to be well worth the effort meeting the hosts.  It was a lot of fun!

We're STILL stalking the house they are working in, too.

"Clean House" is in the 'hood!

Wednesday, when I saw the street crews closing off a block near us, and all the unmarked white trucks and RV's inside the closed off section, my first thought was "Uh, oh. Hazardous materials have been found!"  My mind started thinking about unexploded WWII ordinance, chemical spills, or discarded Smurf toys.  Either way, this wasn't good!

Pretty soon, though, I realized it was a TV crew.  They were flocking around a particular house, hauling equipment here and there. To and fro, so to speak.  I then had a couple of more thoughts...perhaps they were already starting to film that George Clooney movie, or, perhaps it was an elderly couple that lived in the house and they were getting an "Extreme Makeover" to make the house more accessible.

So, I didn't give it too much more thought until that evening.  That's when a friend of my daughter's started texting her about the trucks down the street from her. (They don't actually USE the phones as phones, you know).  The friend was going to go investigate.

Moments later, we got the news...they were filming a movie down there.  I knew it. Must be the George Clooney film.  I went back to Guitar Hero World Tour.  Dianne (the wifelet) went back to Zelda on her DS. 

No, wait. An update had been texted in.  It wasn't a movie. It was a TV show.  I knew it. Must be extreme makeover: Home Edition or something like that.  We had a lot of older homes, and a lot of older people to match in the area.  It made perfect sense.  Back to World Tour and Zelda respectively.

Then, the update to all updates came running up the steps, breathless and in awe!  Well, that was my daughter, but she was bringing with her the update to all updates!  The TV show was "Clean House!"

GIRL SHRIEKS!

Oops, no, that didn't happen at all.  That would have been childish and ...um...girlish.  I'm not a girl.  It's just that I read a lot of my friends' "mommy blogs" and sometimes THEY girl shriek.  Not me. NO. I accidentally wrote that part.  Oh, and if any of you friends object to the term "mommy blogs", I apologize.  My friends have blogs, and they are moms, and they write about mom things.  I'm a dad.  I write about dad things. I don't shriek.

Although, as I remember the moment, it is entirely possible that my wife and daughter were girl shrieking.

And then came the kicker announcement of all.  Rebecca related to us that it was "that house that is full of the ducks and the monkeys!"

DUCKS AND MONKEYS!!!!?????

There is a house in our area that is full of ducks and monkeys?  AND IT IS GOING TO BE ON "CLEAN HOUSE?"  My wife, by this time had totally forgotten about Zelda and notes were zooming by on the screen, unplayed in Guitar Hero.

Ducks and monkeys!?  I wonder if the monkeys wear those little monkey hats that make them look like train porters?

How much better can life get?  If you've ever seen the show, the hostess with the mostess is Niece Nash, who actually comes from St. Louis long ago.  Then there is the designer, Mark, Yard Sale Diva Trish, and Go-To-Guy Matt (did you know that he is a DR.?  MD? That switched to comedy, and then messy houses?)

THEY ARE ROAMING THE STREETS NEAR US!

Part of the show...a major part of the show...is where they haul all the extra stuff out of the house and have an enormous yard sale.  The hosts then try all kinds of stunts to get the visitors to buy the stuff. 

My wife instantly thinks, "Let's bring down all the stuff from the attic that we are giving to a charity.  They could use it to help pay for their remodeling!"

Um, no. We are NOT bringing a truck load of stuff to a TV show and asking them to sell it for us. Besides, they have their hands full with monkeys and ducks.  They don't need my wife down there with the look she has in her eye.  I'm protecting the show.

However, we are SO going to the yard sale, which is tomorrow. If I get pictures of ANY of us with the hosts of the show, they'll be on the site by Monday.  Maybe we can have them all over for a barbecue!

Until they are gone, we are TOTALLY stalking the show.  It's amazing, but now anytime we have to go somewhere, the obvious road choice is the road that goes directly by the "Clean House" crew. Odd.

Pray for me that we don't succumb to their wily ways and BUY stuff we don't need at the garage sale.  There are three family members here that are VERY susceptible to garage sale mania.  Having a TV show attached to it?  Dangerous.

Pray.

I wonder if they will be selling any monkeys?

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Update: Here is the link to a Post-Dispatch article with information on the time and location of the St. Louis Clean House yard sale - it is not at the house, this time!

Update: Here is a link to my post about the yard sale. (It's over, sorry!)

...and That's When I Got the Email From the TV Show.

This coming Friday (the 12th) is the one year anniversary of "One Dad's Life."  So, it's been a busy week around here what with loading dozens of confetti canons, hanging streamers, making cupcakes, and cleaning the bathroom.

I've also been lost in nostalgia, thinking about all that has changed in the past year as a result of this whole "One Dad's Life" blogging thing.  I figured that all these thoughts would be a great set of potential topics for the blog.

I'm always looking for topics for the blog.

My youngest daughter is constantly coming up with ideas (to help me out), but they don't always pass my complex vetting process.  Of course, many of her ideas are along the lines of "Tell them about that time when you were drinking Dr. Pepper at dinner and belched so loud that car alarms went off in the neighborhood, the dogs started barking, and you said, 'that rocked!' and then giggled like a school-girl."

See, I've carefully cultivated a little illusion here at "One Dad's Life" that we have a nice, neat, perfect little life carved out for ourselves here in the "One Dad's Life" household.  Um....which of course we do, naturally!  In particular, I am always on my best behavior, and even when I'm not, it's just so I can make clever observations and post them here.  It's more of a social experiment than bad behavior. That's right. I intentionally cause my family to suffer for my art!

BTW, No need for my family to comment about such areas where I may have made them suffer.  I have comment moderation turned on for a reason, you know, and it's not just for spammers!  I can also block comments that may cast me in a bad light.  This includes comments from my family which are probably the most likely to actually cast me in a bad light.  The rest of you are apparently under my spell.  Bwa ha ha ha!

So, compose yourself. Let's get back to focusing on me.  I was thinking about all the things that have changed in the past year as a result of "One Dad's Life." 

That's when I received the email from a casting producer of the TV show "Wife Swap."

Holy Cow, I've attracted national television attention with "One Dad's Life!"  Boy, was I full of myself for just about 8 hours.  It made perfect sense, in my mind, that a TV Show would be contacting me.  After all, according to my calculations (which are nearly as complex as my blog topic vetting process) I have about the same number of viewers as that hemorrhoid ointment commercial that airs during the "big game" after all the sports fans have been drinking beer for the past hour and really have to go.  Yeah, they aren't sticking around for the commercial.  That's how many viewers I have.

Of course, I was pretty certain that this email arrived as a direct result of me posting pictures of my wife in a dress that required double-sided sticky tape to hold on in a modest way (see Monday's post - My wife is now an award winning actress!) The guy who sent it indicated that he read the blog and was interested in all the things we did as a family.  Perhaps this is true, perhaps not.  I didn't care.  A TV Show had contacted me!  EGO TRIP!!!!

Then, late last night I read a post over on my blogging friend's blog "A Bun's Life" where she had received a strikingly similar email.  I was pretty sure that I hadn't missed a post where she had posted pictures of her husband in a striking evening gown, so my original theory as being contacted due to me posting pictures of my spouse in a fancy dress may have missed the mark.  Clearly the show has begun mining the vast blogosphere to find suckers contestants.  No one has yet measured the full extent of the mining, but apparently there are many bloggers who have not yet received the email.  Obviously, it was smart of them to contact such A-list bloggers as myself and "A Bun's Life."  Man, the jealously of the other St. Louis Bloggers is just going to be unbearable at the next get-together.  Us lucky few that have been contacted (and therefore obviously A-listers) will just have to huddle in the corner and talk about what our life was like back all the way to Sunday when we used to be one of them.

Now despite the provocative title of the show (and it's a real show), the actual premise is basic reality show stuff: They take two families with totally different (some would say opposite) backgrounds and lifestyles, and switch the moms.  The moms then try to influence their new family with their values and also make clever insights into the psychological makeup of the family.  This makes for good TV, you see.

At the end of the show, each family that has been humiliated participated gets $50,000.  The catch is that it is supposed to be spent the way the visiting mom determines.  There are also usually touching scenes where the families miss their rightful moms and also realize things about why they love their family and lifestyle.  Sometimes there are just knock down drag out fights.  I'm guessing a lot of viewers are hoping for this.  TV is violent!

Despite my obvious sarcasm above, I'm not going to ignore this email! I'm going to politely turn down the offer to take the next step in "casting" for this show.  Hey, I don't want to burn any bridges that having "One Dad's Life" may be building ... even without my knowledge. You never know when you might get a casting call to participate in a reality show to see how long you could live on a beach with no one bothering you at all.

However, this show isn't for the "One Dad's Life" family -despite the fact that I may have said as recently as Monday, "I wish I was someone else."  (I was half-kidding, maybe even 3/4. kidding..just a little overwhelmed with stuff to do and faced with negative inspiration levels!)  

So the truth is, I like my life.  It probably needs a bit of filtering, refinement, and adjustment, but I don't need someone to come in with their ideas of what it should be.  I also don't need to be separated from my normal life to know that I'd miss it if it was gone. So, "Wife Swap", thanks, but no thanks.  I already know what I've got and I've got it good.

You'll be getting an email from me. Let me know if the beach thing comes up!

Now, if you don't mind, I'll go back to being proud of my award winning wife (someone else noticed how awesome she is and now she has the award to prove it!), belching Dr. Pepper, and getting ready for the "One Dad's Life" anniversary party. 

Life is good.