One Dad's Life

What's that Noise?!

Periodically, instead of staying up late to work (either for "work" or home stuff), I'll sit on my bed and play some Nintendo DS games, prior to going to sleep.  Well, this past week has been COLD in St. Louis, so I was much more inclined to crawl into my nice soft and WARM bed, than being up and about.

It was early in the evening, for me, at 10:30, so I figured I had a fair amount of gaming time in front of me.  I settled in to play a little bit of the "Professor Layton and the Diabolical Box" game that Dianne gave me for my birthday.

I was having a great time playing, and Dianne was in bed next to me reading a book.  Eventually, she decided to go to sleep and turned out her light.  I decided to continue playing for a while...in the dark...as I commonly do when she is ready to go to sleep.  Can I have a hooray for back-lit LCD screens?  HOORAY!

I was playing for a while, sitting with the blankets over my lap, propped up on some pillows when suddenly I heard a very loud sound.  It sounded like someone slammed the back door leading into our kitchen.

This was odd, as I knew everyone was in bed, and I knew the back door was closed.  Also, none of our critters even budged. My dog remained asleep in the living room, and our youngest cat, Mozart, was curled up next to me.  She didn't even lift her cute little head!  Our oldest cat is deaf and probably wouldn't have noticed anything, anyway.

I decided NOT to get out of the nice soft and WARM bed, and continued playing the game.

Suddenly, BOOM!!!, the sound came again.  This time, the wall behind me (plaster - and solid as a rock) shook.  Even the picture on the wall over the bed rattled a little.  OK, I was NOT imagining things.  What was going on?  The cat next to me lifted her head, looked around, and went back to sleep.

Again, I decided NOT to get out of the nice soft and WARM bed, and continued playing the game.

BOOM!

This time, I very nearly dropped my DS game, the shock was so great.  The cat again looked around.

I sat in the bed, very very still, hoping to hear a clue as to what was happening.  Something must be going on outside, I thought.  I didn't hear any voices, or other activity.  No dogs were barking in the neighborhood, either.  Strange.  VERY strange.

I went back to the game.  It is a fun game, if you like riddles and puzzles.  I recommend it! (Shameless Nintendo plug.  BTW, Nintendo, I'd be perfectly willing to host a Nintendo party in my home. Hint. Hint.  You're the greatest!  Even better than Boar's Head Horseradish sauce and that is saying something!)

Did I mention that I went back to the game?  Yes, I did. I went back to the game.

BOOM!

This time, the impact ended up knocking me back, and even off the side of my pillow a little bit! Holy COW!  What was going on?  Why did no one else hear this or wake up?  It was LOUD and the wall was even shaking, for goodness sake.

It was then that I realized what was happening.  I was actually briefly falling asleep, my head would fall back and SMASH into the wall behind me, which then woke me up.  OUCH. It happened so quickly, I didn't even realize I was falling asleep and getting woken up by the impact of my skull smashing into the rock hard plaster wall.

Good grief.

Sadly, this is not the only experience I've had with falling asleep playing video games.  It has also happened on my couch.  The neighbor's house was on fire that time.

I'm pretty sure I deserve that Nintendo Party.  I'll be waiting.

My Secret Parallel Life

It's confession time, here at "One Dad's Life."  You see, I've been leading something of a double-life since the end of November last year. 

Most evenings and some weekends, after rehearsals, dance classes, and lessons are all over, I slip off to tend to my other household in "Rosebud."  I'm always looking for new furniture pieces to decorate my house in Rosebud with, and I spend a lot of time looking for treasures to donate to the local museum.  In fact, I'm a pretty big philanthropist in Rosebud, though I have yet to have something named after me.  I was even responsible for getting a much needed additional bridge over the river that runs through town built!

Rosebud is my town in Nintendo's "Animal Crossing: City Folk" game for the Nintendo Wii, and I'm addicted.

There is so much to collect and do in the game, but I've mainly focused on finding items the museum needs to complete their collection.  The local museum has four main collections that I am trying to complete.  There is the fish collection - live, of course, the fossil collection, and the rare painting collection.  Finally, there is the BUG collection.   Here is where Nathan and "abunslife" should now find another blog to read today, because this is going in a direction you don't want to see!

The bug collecting has been driving me crazy.  You see, there are a number of rare bugs that are hard to find, and don't wander through town too often.  Two of the rare bugs for the summer months are even scarier, as they ATTACK you.  BAD BUGS!  In fact, you can just be running around town, minding your own business when out of the blue, you are attacked.  Some time later, you wake up in front of your house, wondering what hit you.  I'll tell you what hit you - either a scorpion or a tarantula. That's right, SCARY bugs. (Nathan and "abunslife", if you are still reading, you only have yourself to blame!)

Here's the problem:  I want to complete the museum's collection, including the bugs.  Certain bugs are available only at certain times of day and certain days of the year, just like in "real" life.  While I had managed to catch a scorpion, I was seriously running out of time on the tarantula.  They were only out at night (maybe), and they would disappear from Rosebud at the end of August.

August was ending and I had no tarantula!  If I didn't catch one, I'd have to wait until next summer.  I did not want this to happen.  So, after several failed attempts at catching the huge beast, I was running out of time and panic was increasing.  Would Nintendo cancel my subscription to "Nintendo Power" if I failed?  I didn't know, but I didn't want to find out!

So, last Sunday night, I was determined to stay up until the bug was caught.  I was bold.  I started playing the game around 7 PM, my time.  In the game, that was 5 PM.   The game runs in real time, but I have it shifted a bit to accommodate my late-night availability.  Since the local shops close at 9:00PM, I need the time shift to actually get to accomplish anything in the game.

The end of August also signaled the end of many other rare (and valuable) bugs.  I already had these in the museum, but could sell any additional ones I caught to the local store for quite a bit of money.  I also figured that in order for the rare (and secretive) tarantula to appear, I'd have to catch a lot of bugs so their turn would come up in the random bug generator that is hidden deep within the Wii.

Over the course of the night, I DID in fact collect a large number of rare bugs.  I filled my house with them, actually.  All three floors!  Just like in my real life, I take a lot of pictures of my life in Rosebud.  Below is a picture of me standing in front of ONE floor full of rare bugs.   All in all, I collected almost 400,000 bells (the local currency) of rare bugs IN ONE NIGHT! Full disclosure - this picture was actually taken the day before in my second to last attempt at getting a tarantula.

Without getting into all the hairy spider details, when the tarantula was found, I stood still with my bug net at the ready.  The beast walked near me, not attacking, I waited, the bug waited. Then the bug wondered off.  I gave chase, but failed to catch it before it plunged into the nearest body of water, disappearing.  Rats.  I had failed again! Previously, I had only (at most) seen a single tarantula a night.  Failure to catch meant the day was over.  But, this was my last chance, so I decided to keep catching bugs and hope to find another.

Amazingly, shortly there-after, I DID run into another tarantula!  I was overjoyed.  However, the spider was near the ocean shore and just plunged in without me even getting close.  Still, I was encouraged, because if there were two spiders, there could be three, right!

Finally, I spotted another tarantula around midnight local time (a bit after 2 AM St. Louis time).  I waited, bug net at the ready.  The spider came close to me.  It didn't actually seem quite right, though, so I didn't swing. Swinging and MISSING was a fatal mistake with these bugs.  I didn't want to wake up all groggy later on wondering what happened...again.  The spider started wandering off.  OH NO!!!!  In a moment of panic, I went against my plan, raced forward and swung the net recklessly.

I ACTUALLY CAUGHT THE BUG!!!

There may have been shouts of joy coming from my living room, but I couldn't guarantee it.  Still I was incredibly happy at this amazing turn of events.  I wouldn't be losing my "Nintendo Power" subscription!

So what do you do at major life events like catching the dreaded and rare tarantula?  You take pictures of course!  So, without further ado...

Here I am standing in front of my house with my prized tarantula!

Here I am on the bridge I worked so hard to get built in town with my prized tarantula!

 

Here I am with the town mayor with my prized tarantula. THE MAYOR.  He's a turtle. Try not to stare.

 

Finally, it came time to part with my prize.  Ultimately, it belonged in the museum with the other bugs, not crawling around in my pocket.  I'm sure you can agree!  So, here I am donating the bug to the curator of the museum. He's an owl.

Parting with the bug was bitter-sweet.  After all that time hunting, I was reluctant to give up my prize.  However, I felt good about my donation.   In any case, I could always visit in the museum with the other bugs I've donated, right?  Life is good!

The Neighbor's House is on Fire!

It's no secret that I'm just a bit of a Nintendo fan.  In fact, if you are a regular reader (thanks to both of you!) then you know that if I had MY way, my life would revolve around music, Nintendo, and photography.  Please note, I'm not excluding my family, pesky as they may be, just as I'm not excluding eating and sleeping!  No nasty emails, please.

So, last night, as with many nights, I wanted to spend a bit of time playing Animal Crossing.  I have to collect all the available fish, bugs, clothes and furniture after all!

Animal Crossing is a pleasant, slow moving simulation game where you are a human, living among interesting talking animals.  It's such a pleasant "life" that many a day I've wished REAL life were more like Animal Crossing.

The game is so relaxing and slow moving that I often drift off to sleep for brief moments while I'm waiting for a fish to bite, or similar event.  This may also have to do with me being really tired by the time I get around to Nintendo!

It's not that uncommon for me to drift off to sleep on the couch and wake up later in the night, with the game patiently waiting for me to do something.  Last night was one of those nights.  I would momentarily nod off, then wake up, find some bugs or fish, and nod off again.  On one of the moments when I woke up from a brief nodding off, I was panic struck by the glow coming through our colored glass living room window. It would seem that perhaps the neighbor's house was on fire!  I jumped up, amazed I hadn't heard the sirens and commotion.  It was at this moment that I realized the house next door was NOT actually on fire.  The glow I was seeing came from another source - THE SUN.

I had somehow managed to repeatedly doze off and wake up, playing the game ALL NIGHT LONG!

This CAN'T be a good influence on my kids. 

Tomorrow, I get a day off for the 4th of July holiday, so tonight we will be having a BONUS Mario Kart Session!  On that game, there will be no sleeping.

Where's Tim?

Dedicated readers have read all about my Friday Night Fun.  Click on the link in the previous sentence for the beginning of that post, or check the "Stupid Gregg Tricks" category on the left column of the website for more.

Basically, every Friday I play Mario Kart Wii online whenever everyone gets home until about 3:00 in the morning.  A couple of times, Tim (Sarah's husband), who is my main competitor, has not shown up due to "falling asleep."

This is very disappointing.  So far, we have raced online against each other 850 times. That's right, 850. Do you have a problem with that?  As of Friday, we were tied 425 to 425, according to my Wii's records.  Isn't that exciting?

Generally, whoever the first one to get on will begin texting the other person to let them know they are online, and then the person being texted can respond with when they think they will get on.

Below the Mario Kart Wii, being played online photo (taken by my wife over my shoulder), is the rather one-sided text "exchange" from Friday night.

G (Gregg): (sometime during the day on Friday) Are you up for Mario Kart tonight?

T (Tim): (around 9:00PM Friday night) I am running on empty ...long week! But I will be on later, you getting on later?

G: I went to bed at 3 last night, but I will be on at the usual time.

At this point, I am focused on getting as much done as I can before we get online, which usually starts between 10:30 or 11:00 but can be as late as after midnight.

G: (around 10:30 on Friday night) ETA ten minutes!

10 minutes pass, with no response from Tim.

G:Logging in!

Races a few races, one in particular was rather violent and rough - and also didn't turn out well for me.

G: Ouch! Ooo!

Tim still hasn't shown up or responded to my messages, and some significant time has passed.  A few of my other friends are online, though!

G: Surely you aren't missing Mario?

More races pass, Tim is still unresponsive.  He does have a new baby, so I'm guessing (hoping) that he's busy with that and will be joining in shortly.

G: Don't make me come over there!

Still no Tim.  I'm beginning to get worried.

G: (singing) Where oh where has my little Tim gone?

You know things are bad if I'm singing - or even pretending to sing on a text message.  More violent races ensue, the competition is unreal. Mario Kart is frequently...NOT relaxing.

G: Heart rate...increasing!

With all else failing, I begin to insult Tim's vehicle.

G: Your kart is rusting!

Impatience is not kicking into play.

G: Tap Tap Tap

That was supposed to be my foot tapping, btw.  Pretty realistic, wasn't it?

G: You must be present to win!

I finally give up at this point, and stops sending Tim messages.

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Now, do that whole squiggly line simulation of time passing.  Done?  Good.  The next day, I received the following message:

T: I am investing in stronger caffeinated beverage for next time.

Ahhh, the whole "fell asleep" excuse!

G: Everyone left by midnight -thirty last night. BLAH!

All my friends were LAME friday night.

T: Waving the white flag...I lost the battle once again, falling asleep just before it was time to start last night.  Very funny comments.

Yeah. Laugh it up, Tim.  Glad you enjoyed my comments.

G: Sadness permeates the core of my being.

Tim, obviously feeling great guilt and remorse, did not respond to this last message.

It serves him right!

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Editor's note: We did have kind of a make-up game the next night, but seriously, it just wasn't the same!

A Personal Message to My Friend, Sarah

Sarah,

I've heard it through the grapevine...and by grapevine, I mean Dianne...that you are blaming me, somehow, for your current inability to use your TV at night.

I would just like to say that I have NOT, in fact, held a gun to your husband's head and demanded that he play Mario Kart Wii until all hours of the night and/or morning with me online.

In fact, I believe that on a couple of different occasions, it was YOU who told ME that he was online playing.  I just joined up!

It is also not my fault that Nintendo (are you listening Nintendo?) created such a fantastic game as Mario Kart and enabled it for online play!  No.  In fact, we are in a country that is built on freedom. Freedom.  Tim is perfectly able to make the choice to play Nintendo online with me (a good choice) or watch sports on TV (a baffling choice that makes me question his character just a bit).

I'm also wondering where that Mario Kart game came from.  Was it, in fact, a birthday or Christmas gift FROM YOU?  I think it might have been, though I could be wrong on this count.  I DO remembering you asking me what the name of the game was, though, for just such an occasion.

I'd say more, but I'm afraid that with the pregnancy hormones and all, I could possibly send you on some sort of emotional roller coaster and that would probably limit Tim's time online.  So I'll say no more.

If you've got additional problems with this, then I challenge you to a BATTLE race on Mario Kart.  May the best racer win!

I'm calling Yoshi.

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Note to the rest of you Mario Kart Wii fans:  Send your friend codes for Mario Kart to dadincharge at swbell dot net and I'll add you to our friends list!

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Update: For Sarah's rebuttal, click this link!

I'm Worried About the Kids - Part 10 "Driving"

It's not news to anyone who regularly reads this blog (or my twitter stream) that I'm a big Nintendo fan. I have the Nintendo Power magazine subscription (causing my friend Tim to say, "What are you? Twelve?") and play our Gamecube, Wii, or one of FOUR DS systems as often as I get the chance.  For the record, I generally get the chance on a daily basis, at least for a few minutes.

Nintendo has great multi-player games and I love it when we have a chance to play the games together as a family.  Usually, however, I end up playing by myself in my unofficial household role as "unlocker of all the cool game stuff." It's my job to unlock all the features of the game so that when we DO get to play as a family, all the game options are available to us. Generally, if I want to play with other people, it has to be online. 

So, I was pretty surprised and excited last night when my daughter Rebecca agreed to play Mario Kart Wii with me.  She is at that age where she generally prefers to spend time alone, posting goofy self-portraits on Facebook!   We were playing for a while and eventually came to the level called "Koopa Cape."  A major feature of this level has you following a stream in your Kart, which eventually goes down a large waterfall into a pipe.

The pipe is a single pipe that gently changes direction SLIGHTLY as you are following the water through it.  There aren't any branches or choices on which way to go in the pipe...there is just a single entrance, a fairly long pipe that you follow, and an exit.

Seems pretty straightforward, right?

Rebecca got lost in the pipe.

I'm guessing that you probably had to read that last sentence a couple of times to make sure you got it right, didn't you?  That's why I left it all alone up there - to make it easier to for you to find!  For the most part, getting lost in that pipe is like getting lost in a toilet paper roll.  It's not easy!

At first, I thought she was joking when she said she couldn't get out of the pipe.  But then I took my eyes off the road for a moment to look at her portion of the screen, and by George she was right!  I had driven past her on my second lap around the course and didn't even notice her.  In fact, I passed her AGAIN on my third and final lap before she found her way out of the toilet paper roll...I mean pipe.

I'm worried about the kid.

This same girl will be driving in just a few years!  I should say that she will be eligible to drive. Right now the evidence is pointing in the direction that perhaps she should NOT drive.

To be fair, she DID do a bit better in the level named "Coconut Mall."  Malls are a more familiar environment for her, I guess.  I hope she doesn't get the idea that she can drive a car through the mall, though!

The Japanese / Wii Conspiracy

I am not a conspiracy theorist. Seriously, I'm not. Ask anyone who believes me, and they'll tell you the same thing! (You may have to think about that sentence just a bit).  In fact, there was only one time in my life I thought there might be a conspiracy, and that was the whole iPod / Eric Clapton conspiracy issue.

I love playing our Nintendo Wii, and in particular, I love playing Mario Kart Wii. If any of you are Mario Kart Wii players, you have GOT to send me your friend codes so we can play! It's fun to play the game for a bit before I go to bed. It's relaxing.  Seriously.  Even though I may rant at the TV a bit and my Mario Kart steering wheel accessory has my finger prints embedded in the back of it.  It's SO relaxing.

Since it is rare that I can get someone in my family to play against me...something about me always winning and therefore making it no fun...I usually play online against other Wii owners around the world.

This is where I noticed what at first I considered a "trend" but now consider a known conspiracy. Any time I play people in Japan, they have a ranking score that is in the high 9000's.  That is so good it is seemingly nearly impossible.  In fact, I don't remember having seen any Japanese with a score LOWER than 9000.  When I race them, they basically disappear at the start line and then when I'm just about half way through the last lap, the game ends because they have been done for 30 seconds!

I've had this happen when I've basically run a PERFECT race.  In theory, there are shortcuts and such which I haven't found, but I've noticed when racing people from almost any other country, I'm competitive!

Not only this, but I've also noticed that the more I practice and improve my game, the worse I do against these guys (and gals) from Japan.  IT'S SO FRUSTRATING relaxing.

I do actually have a theory as to why this is happening.  You see, Nintendo is a Japanese company. Therefore it stands to reason that the communications between the wireless controllers and the game and even within the game console itself is in Japanese.  Makes sense, right?  Well, when I'm playing in the United States, or people are playing in their own countries, the game clearly must translate my English based movements into Japanese, right?

Conclusion: Therefore, it must be this translation lag that results in slower performance and lower scores from me (and people from other, non-Japanese) countries.

See, Mom and Dad? That engineering education has really paid off!  Hard to escape my logic, isn't it?

So, now I'm practicing my Japanese:

素晴らしい週末を過しなさい! ("Have a nice weekend!")

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I think most of the people that read this blog are already involved in this event, but the St. Louis Bloggers Guild (of which I am a member!) is hosting the interactive portion of the "PlaySTL" music/interactive media festival this weekend in the Delmar Loop.  We have panels tonight and tomorrow all day covering many of the aspects of using social media such as blogging. twitter, etc.  There are tips on photography, online safety, legal aspects, the technical side of blogging, etc.  These panels are divided into three areas: Lifestyle, Geek Chic, and Bid’ness.

Click here for all the juicy details!  Also, it is economical.  A mere fifteen dollars gets you into all these panels, plus panels related to the music industry and band issues (great if you are in an indie band!) and 99 bands!!!  That is NOT a typo!  99 bands!!!  All for 15 dollars.  Less than a movie and popcorn, I'll bet.

We've been working for several months, putting this all together under the leadership of Dana Loesch of Mamalogues and talk radio fame at 97.1 FM Talk.  It's going to be fantastic.  If you can't make it this time, look for us even bigger and better next September.  Sponsors are already lining up for next year!

I'm probably already there setting up as you read this, come by and say "Hi!"

I Know What You are Thinking - When Will He Grow Up?

The other day, I posted the following on twitter:

Am I the only 40+ dad that wants to decorate his home office with these?

Sure, other dads may dream of rich mahogany paneling and velvet tapestries, but I'm looking for Mario, a bunch of brick blocks, mushrooms, and those spiny things!  (Plus Princess Peach) However, it's apparent that at least at the time of that posting, I was in fact the only 40+ dad looking to decorate with those decals. 

No one responded. Not one.

I was shocked. Have all the rest of you forgotten how to play?  I suppose you are going to tell me next that you don't have mullet wigs and suction cup dart guns in your desk at work, either.  What's the matter? Are you afraid to play? Are you chicken? 

Isn't the point of going to college to get a decent job so that you can do all that fun stuff you wanted to do as a kid...without your parents telling you it was bedtime!  LIVE A LITTLE PEOPLE!

I did spot one glimmer of hope, though.  I came across a guy on twitter last night that has a real live Super Mario Bros. arcade game in his basement.  That's probably just as cool, if not cooler, than having your own Kiss pinball game!

So to answer the question of "When will he grow up?"  I don't know.  It seems unlikely to occur at this point.  You're talking to a guy that has Micky Mouse as a wizard, the Taco Bell chihuahua, A.L.F., a skeleton with a tie-dye shirt, Opus, and Scrooge McDuck stuffed animals sitting on his desk!

Growing up is over-rated. Admit it. If you don't I'll give you an Indian rope-burn until you cry "uncle!"

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Readers of "One Dad's Life." Yesterday, we received some scary news regarding "motherofbun", a regular visitor of this website.  Please read the post below for more information and please show her some support, if you haven't already! Thank you very much. - Gregg

Wii Nirvana

It's going to be very hard to get anything resembling productivity out of our house for the next few weeks...at least until the novelty of the following games wears off!

This past weekend, I picked up two AMAZING games that has our family totally enthralled:

1. Guitar Hero III for the Wii
2. Mario Kart Wii

Oh my gosh.  My entire family is addicted to these games already.  Everyone else is tired of hearing about them!  Naturally, I thought it was time to tell the tale to all my readers!

We played Guitar Hero for the first time at my sister-in-law's house on a Sony PS2.  I was surprised by how good that game actually was.  I immediately wanted to get it for our Wii.  We also have an X-Box, but the Wii is definitely our console choice. I would have purchased this game right away, but I heard of the audio problems for the Wii version of the game, and wanted to wait for the fix.  Additionally, the extra guitar controllers weren't initially available.  Finally, a month or so ago, the fix and extra controllers were released.

We decided we would buy them when school was out, thinking the game would be quite the distraction.  Well, thanks indirectly to a comment left by abunslife, I discovered that Guitar Hero III and all the accessories were on sale this week at Gamestop. 

Clearly, I had to get it.

Also, Mario Kart Wii was released on Sunday.  Thanks to the same comment, I reserved a copy of the game at said Gamestop, which I picked up on Sunday morning at exactly 12:01AM.

Probably everyone knows what Guitar Hero is, but let me tell you...you would not believe how addicting the game is, AND I ACTUALLY PLAY GUITAR!!!!  The cover of "The Devil Went Down to Georgia" is amazing, and actually causes cramps in my hand on just Medium difficulty level. 

Prepare the ice bags.

On Monday night, my wife and I broke out the new Mario Kart.  We raced each other in several of the courses.  Clearly something was wrong with the game, because she won.  NOBODY beats me at Mario Kart!  Well, at least on the Gamecube.  The game uses the Wii motion sensitive controls pretty well, and we were able to race without even opening the instructions.  The steering wheel accessory is actually really nice.  After the sorry excuse for a race against my lovely wife, she decided to go read, and I continued to play.  Clearly, she knew that her success would be short lived.  I'm thinking she left in fear, not fatigue!  I did better after she left, so I decided to explore other options in the game.

I went straight to the network play.  It was amazingly cool!

You have a choice of selecting "regional" opponents, worldwide opponents, or "friends."  I selected worldwide, and in a few minutes, I was racing against people all over the world.  I can't even read the Japanese names I was racing against, but it was still fun!  Racing actual people beats racing the computer any day.

How cool is that?

Seriously, for all you gamers, drop what you are doing and go get Mario Kart Wii and a Wii if you don't have one, and SEND ME YOUR WII FRIEND CODES. (see my email address in the "about" page) I'm talking to YOU, St. Louis (and beyond) bloggers and readers!  We can then race each other, and you can laugh at the ridiculous Mii that I made...which happens to look exactly like me.  Of course, you'll also have some of our "custom" Mii's come visit your console...including my youngest daughter's Mii that is made entirely of eye-brows, and a "Prince (the artist)" Mii that I made.

So, to recap:

My recommendation is to run to the nearest video game outlet, and IMMEDIATELY purchase both Guitar Hero III, and Mario Kart Wii.  Send me your friend codes.  Meet me online.  Abandon sleep.  It's fun!

Major "Minor" Life Events

OK, this weekend has at least two pretty big life events for us.  These aren't really major things, like buying a house, having a child, or adopting a wolverine or anything like that, but they are big non-the-less. 

The first event is that it is my lovely wife's birthday.  Now, when I say lovely I mean she is totally gorgeous...this isn't a joke...however, I am completely incapable of taking a good picture of her!  Seriously, this will someday be the subject of a post here on One Dad's Life, and I will show proof!

The second event is that Mario Kart for the Wii is coming out on Sunday.

Let's talk about my wife's birthday first, as it is arguably more important.  Her birthday is actually on Monday, but we will be celebrating on Sunday (Oh oh, possible conflict with Mario!).  She has a writer's meeting on Monday or something.  Hey! Perhaps I could have her and the other actual writers make a guest post!  I could even have a completely narcissistic theme foisted on them.  Something like "What I like best about 'One Dad's Life.' "  Yep, that would be cool.

Anyway, we will be going to my parents house to do the birthday celebration stuff.  This is fine with me, except that I like to do the cooking for her birthday...and other major events.  So, while it will be held at my parents, I will still be doing the cooking.  Crews are there right now, ripping out that novelty electric quartz stove-top and putting in a gas stove-top like God intended us to cook on.   If humans were supposed to cook with electricity, God would have sent Benjamin Franklin and Thomas Edison to us MUCH sooner!

This means that as soon as church is over, I will likely be heading directly to my parents house to start cooking.  This doesn't leave a lot of time for me to get Mario Kart for the Wii.  The game comes out on Sunday, remember?!  This also doesn't leave a lot of time to PLAY Mario Kart.  What am I going to do?  I can't just ignore Mario Kart (it comes with a steering wheel!), and I can't just skip out on my wife's birthday celebration.  Well, I guess I could be gone for just a bit, like 30 minutes - maybe even 60.  I could introduce a diversional controversial subject like "Do you think its OK to plant your annuals before the snowballs bloom?" and then make a run for it in the ensuing pandemonium.

I rush to Best Buy, pick up the game, rush to my house and play the first course, then rush back to my parents and then end the argument I started with a clever, "Oh, never mind, I was thinking of something else" kind of statement.

Genius.